Domestic and Family Violence Awareness and Prevention
During your ministry or in your congregation or parish, it is likely that you will come into contact with someone experiencing domestic violence or perpetrating domestic violence. Domestic violence is a significant issue, both in the Lutheran church community and in the wider community in Australia and New Zealand.
We aim to increase your understanding of domestic violence and to support you in your area of ministry in responding to individuals and families who are experiencing family violence and abuse. We need to increase awareness of domestic violence, particularly its impact on the church, as well as work toward eliminating domestic violence, both by supporting those experiencing the abuse and by changing the problem at the source, namely, changing those who perpetrate violence.
The gospel message invites the nurturing of respectful relationships between all people, with a focus here on families and intimate relationships. Living respectfully is not just about loving others, as the word ‘love’ can often be misinterpreted to allow much behaviour that is abusive and controlling, and puts the physical safety and emotional wellbeing of others at risk. It is important to understand that a respectful relationship means being physically, emotionally and spiritually safe at home and free from fear, threats, intimidation, coercive control and injury, and being treated with dignity and respect, and allowed to make one’s own choices.
We hope this information will be a helpful tool as you offer pastoral care in your community.
- Remember: ‘Love comes to life’ is when our churches support families to be safe places and couples to have respectful, loving relationships where violence is eliminated.
- We want to talk, live and provide pastoral care in a way that would encourage people in our congregations, schools, aged care and other services to trust they would be supported if they revealed to us that they were experiencing domestic or family violence.
Acknowledgement
As Christians, we have not always recognised the abuse that has been experienced within the church or community or perpetrated in the name of the church. We acknowledge with sadness the violence experienced by the First Nations peoples of Australia and New Zealand, as well as those who have come to the church seeking help for the violence and abuse that they have experienced in their own homes. May we acknowledge these hidden hurts and create healing and support.
What is domestic and family violence?
Domestic violence (also known as ‘domestic abuse’ or ‘intimate partner violence’) is a pattern of controlling and abusive behaviour used by an intimate partner during a relationship or after separation, and its key element is fear. Domestic violence occurs in all walks of life, regardless of socio-economic status, race, age, gender, religion, culture and sexual orientation. The term domestic violence also refers to intimate partner homicide. Domestic violence is a violation of basic human rights.
Signs and impact of domestic violence
Domestic violence has devastating long-term impacts on the lives of women, men and children, and the fallout extends beyond those who are directly affected – into families, congregations, ministries of the church and the wider community. Some of these impacts and effects are discussed via the link below.
Faith and domestic violence
Some people believe that domestic violence only occurs outside of the church; however, we can’t ignore the increasing number of stories coming from Christians, including Lutherans, who have personally experienced or used domestic violence.
Responding to those experiencing domestic violence
There are many different ways we can support those experiencing domestic violence. We can all be an ‘ally', which means being aware of the signs of domestic violence, being trustworthy and open, and asking, ‘Are you okay?’ Being a 'first responder' means not only listening but taking action when a person shares that they are experiencing domestic violence.
Responding to a person who is violent and abusive
Your beliefs and unconscious biases could have a significant impact on a person who is being abusive and wants to change. Usually, they are experiencing guilt, shame, remorse or are desperate to save a relationship.
The church and healing
How can we make the church a safe place, where 1) those who have experienced violence can heal and rebuild and be supported, 2) we recognise that overwhelmingly the victims of domestic violence have been women and children and 3) those who have used abuse are made accountable and recognise that true repentance means getting help to develop respectful relationships where all are equal under Christ?
Domestic Violence Handbook for Pastoral Workers
The Domestic Violence Handbook is designed especially for Lutheran pastors and other pastoral care workers. It is a ‘field manual’ to support you when confronted with one of the more difficult issues in your pastoral ministry – domestic violence.
This handbook provides basic information on the nature of domestic and family violence and appropriate pastoral responses.
Get support
If this topic highlights violence or abuse that you or someone you know is experiencing, or you have concerns for your own behaviour, we encourage you to read the sections on self-care and get information and support from the following.
- 1800RESPECT (Australia) – 1800 737 732 or www.1800respect.org.au
- Family Violence info line (New Zealand) – 0800 456 450 or www.areyouok.org.nz/support-available
- Lifeline Australia – 131 114
- Mensline Australia – 1300 78 99 78 or mensline.org.au
- LCANZ website – www.preventdfv.lca.org.au
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