How can I be a better bystander?

We all find ourselves, at some time, as a bystander to uncomfortable or confronting situations. It might be at a social gathering, with friends at the local club, in a meeting, on the bus or in a family home or gathering. It is natural to feel reluctant to directly intervene when something bad is happening to people around you. But bystanders have other options if direct intervention is unsafe or undesirable. These actions can be powerful in stopping violence escalating and supporting victims. Consider the 5 Ds of bystander intervention. There are several steps you may be able to take to safely intervene:

Distract: Take the initiative to indirectly confront and de-escalate the situation.

Delegate: Seek out a person of authority to intervene.

Document: If possible (safe), document the incident (e.g. filming on your phone). Be sure to include the time, date and location in the recording.

Direct: If it is safe, address the perpetrator directly and ask them to stop.

Delay: If it is safe, talk to the victim after the incident is over.

Be a better bystander

Have you been a witness to something that has made you worried or uncomfortable? Perhaps you have heard abusive words, offensive jokes or comments, demands or shouting.

You are a bystander in many situations – at work, in a meeting or at an event, a family gathering. You might be a bystander to a friend or family member and witness behaviour that makes you concerned about the safety of someone you know.

What can a bystander do?

There are some effective ways to provide help and support:

• Confront the person doing the harassment – ‘stop, this is not okay’.
• Distract the target or the person doing the harassment.
• Seek support from an authority – a teacher at school, a supervisor at work, a security guard at a venue.
• Get support from other bystanders.
• Support the person being targeted now or after the event.
• Observe, monitor and record the situation.
• Follow up with the person who was targeted.

From the Queensland Joint Churches DV Prevention Project brochure: https://qct.org.au/images/JCDVPP/Be_a_better_Bystander.pdf