Why? Oh, why?

by Jonathan Krause

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But he said, ‘Why should my lord be so kind to me?’ (Genesis 33:15b)

Read Genesis 33:1–16

You likely have more Bible-smarts than me, so I’ll leave it to you to explore the backstory of today’s reading.

Just make sure you enjoy the wonderful story of forgiveness, reconciliation and healing. While it’s not exactly a classic ‘happy ending’, it’s still encouraging to see the coming together that allows two brothers to carry on with their own individual life journeys with a sense of peace. They can move forward.

The words that jumped out to me were Jacob asking, ‘Why should my lord be so kind to me?’

Do you ever find yourself asking the same question? But about God’s love for you?

For me, I look at myself and see all my flaws and all the times I have fallen short, done wrong, messed up and think: How could God possibly ‘be so kind to me’? How could I be in any way worthy of forgiveness, acceptance and love?

That’s such a ‘human’ thing to feel. You and I are used to having to earn what we receive, to pay a price for what we get. In fact, if you’re anything like me, you’re wary of anything that looks too good to be true. Because usually it is.

Yet again, I find myself trying to shrink God down to fit the limited scope of my human understanding. And experience.

Surely no one could love me that much.

How do you and I get past this?

When you look at Jacob, he approached Esau warily. Nervously. Uncertain of what would happen. (I counted at least six acts of humility in just these few verses.)

That’s what I feel I should do when I approach God seeking forgiveness.

Head bowed. Down to the ground. Afraid to look up.

Yet if I only ever look down, I miss seeing the smiling face of forgiveness. The love that overflows in joy.

For Jacob and Esau, it was tears, embrace, kisses – intimate physical expressions of love, prepared to let go of the past and to move forward. What is it for you and me?

That’s the challenge I take away from today’s reading, and why I pray that you might feel, in a special way today, God’s answer to the question we ask of him, ‘Why should my Lord be so kind to me?’

Lord, I come to you in wonder that you could love me, forgive me and welcome me with hugs and kisses. Help me reflect that joy to each person you place before me in the hours that remain today. Amen.

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